I am neither a sadist or a masochist.

[edg]

Further, I would never intentionally do this to anything living unless that I felt that I had no choice, and I doubt I'd even do it to an inanimate object that someone cared about very much.

That said:

I want to hurt something. I want to take all of the bitterness and unhappiness and pent-up frustration inside me and unleash it at something. I want to hit something until it breaks.

And I very, very much don't want it to be me.

Comments

[stevenehrbar.livejournal.com]

I had an old stump (about four feet high and a yard in diameter) in my back yard, and a woodchoppers' maul. I'd spend an hour exhausting myself by beating on the stump as if it were an axe. (It's not very effective for that, but it would do visible damage to the stump.)

Using a hoe on weeds with unnecessary force is satisflying, too - the impact on the ground is nice, and the weed is gone.

[undauntra.livejournal.com]

I've always found tearing towels into little strips very cathartic. Get the cheap fluffy ones. If you have low hand strength, snip through the hem at the edge to get yourself started.

[lizerk.livejournal.com]

I know that feeling... faaaar too well.

I have found throwing a baseball (or softball) at a brick wall (or in my case, the side of the house I used to live in) to be QUITE helpful. I threw it with all that I had and the impact makes a GREAT sound.

[harukami]

I understand the feeling very well indeed. [hugs]

One thing I used to do is buy a box of kleenex and then rip each kleenex up. Didn't always help, but sometimes it did. :(

Other things I find that help are *really* violent computer games....

[telerib.livejournal.com]

My grandma used to buy boxes of cheap coffee mugs and throw them one by one down the stairs onto a concrete floor. Makes a keen sound, but cleanup might be a problem and safety goggles (or at least sunglasses) should probably be worn.

[ceramufary.livejournal.com]

I have two old twin six matresses set up against the wall in a spare room. I can kick them, scream, punch them, throw myself into them, and the worst that happens is my knuckles get a little bit carpet burned.

Brent says it wouldn't satisfy him when he has the urge to break shit. I think that he never had an accepted way to vent, so it's built up to the point that there *is* no acceptable way to vent that really will take care of it.

It's possible that doing something like this -- breaking something that doesn't matter, or just hitting something repeatedly that you can't hurt, till your body is sore, will help. Maybe not. I am a believer in careful, measured sadism and masochism to release these kinds of things -- and it seems to help, somewhat. I don't know what you do if your need is to hurt something real, and you can't allow yourself to meet that need -- that's going to be a problem. Probably the only real solution at that point is hours of intensive meditation, to release the stress and pain and hurt out into the ether or down into the Earth -- Mother Earth can accept a lot of pain for us, and just burn it up in the Core.

I of course don't need to stress how completely normal this feeling is. Others already have. Any person will react this way when confronted with pain and stress that they cannot cope with.

Mmm, don't know if any of this was helpful. If you want / need meditation advice, I'll be happy to provide my input, but I'm pretty sure you know what will help you.

Lots of love and cuddles -- and I should probably call you soon.
Cera