Sigh

[edg]

So. Tomorrow starts Otakon, and as I've been wanting to return to this convention for three years and pre-registered since February, you'd think I'd be excited about it, right?

For some reason I feel like going to Otakon is an obligation this year; I'm an anime fan in the Baltimore area, and I'm pre-registered to go, so I need to attend, right? But I'm not going with anybody, and I'm not going in costume, and to be honest, the amount of anime I've been watching recently has been dwindling at a rather precipitous rate. (Not necessarily indicating a lack of interest in the subject, mind; I just haven't really had the time, the energy, or the available television.) I'm not even sure I want to buy anything - I have Descendents of Darkness, Saiyuki, Noir, and Martian Successor Nadesico waiting at home for me, and that's not counting the various series that Roommate owns that I haven't watched yet.

For that matter, can I afford to buy anything? I've been saving up money (in fits and starts, I admit) for a while to go to this convention, and I have almost $600 to spend - but should I be using that to pay bills (not really necessary) and improve my standard of living instead?

I hate being plagued by self-doubt like this. I wish I could just go and enjoy it and feel like I was actually part of the fandom, instead of feeling guilty because I'm spending money and stupid because I don't treat a series or movie being released commercially in the US for the first time as old news just because all the real fans had that fan-subbed years ago.

Oh well.

Maybe I'll find a copy of They Were Eleven and the trip will be worth it.

Comments

[cpip.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. If you need a Reason To Go, can I ask you to stop by and pick up an autographed something from Mr. Madsen, of Little Gamers (http://www.little-gamers.com) fame? (I wouldn't be half so presumptuous as to ask you to go bug Piro (http://www.megatokyo.com).)

:)

[cmccurry.livejournal.com]

Just go and have a blast. You have money saved up and there is nothing wrong with having fun once in a while.

[amethystjade.livejournal.com]

I would offer to run out and go with you, and yet, I'm not uber-excited about anime, nor do I have the weekend free. But I'd be almost home, and I could see my friend in Glen Burnie. :)