I've probably said this before, but...

[edg]

...it's striking how many things I don't post here simply because I don't feel like getting grief for saying them.

("Post anyway, it's your journal" doesn't help. It's hard to feel entitled to post what you want when your readers feel entitled to lay into you for it.)

Comments

[unlovablehands.livejournal.com]

Have you thought about filtering your entries to certain people, or making them private rather than friends-only?

[edg.livejournal.com]

I have, actually, and I do have filters set up - although not for this sort of thing. The problem is that who's going to take umbrage is unpredictable; the only thing I can really predict at this point is whether the post is, for lack of a better word, umbrage-able.

As for private entries, I find that they work better for me as note-to-self tools, or a way to remove a questionable entry from the public eye without deleting it entirely. For whatever reason, venting into a private entry doesn't do me much more good then just bitching about it in my head.

[pyrephox.livejournal.com]

Same here, actually. My LJ is the first 'diary' I've ever managed to keep, because I can't /write/ about stuff without having a percieved audience. I've tried private entries, and there's just the the thought, "I already know what the hell I'm thinking, why write it down?" going over and over again.

Also, about the having not to post some things because of how people you know read the LJ will react. Or knowing that they'll react negatively. It's not really the "I disagree and you're stupid" that bothers me, but other emotional reactions.

So, basically, just...my sympathies. What I know some people do is create another LJ and not give the name out to their current friendslist, and use it for the venting that needs to be done. Might that help? Still an audience, just less likely to be the ones who'll take offense.

[edg.livejournal.com]

*nods* Exactly. As far as my posting habits are concerned, Private is for keeping track of posts that I don't want anybody but me to see anymore.

And, you know, I actually have done that, too. But I never update it these days, because nobody reads it! So. >_>

[pyrephox.livejournal.com]

Hee. *scritches* Understandable.

[phosphodae.livejournal.com]

"For whatever reason, venting into a private entry doesn't do me much more good then just bitching about it in my head."

For me it helps to organize and process that head-bitching into something tangible and manageable. It's sometimes difficult for me to make emotional progress if I forget the random insights and epiphanies I have-- so I record them, and when I reread them it's a reminder and a focus to give me direction.

[edg.livejournal.com]

That's a really good point, actually. I'll keep that in mind.

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

So turn off comments. It's going to be even more infuriating to those who feel you don't have the right to an opinion :)

[edg.livejournal.com]

Ha, I almost said something about being tempted to turn off comments altogether. The trick is, I don't mind most comments. It's just the snide "I'm right and you're stupid" ones that get to me, and I don't have a reliable way to get rid of those without losing the valuable comments as well.

Then again, on the post in question, there really wouldn't have been any valuable comments, just either "I agree" or "I'll point out in extended detail how wrong you are".

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

Have you read theferrett's comment whoring howto guide? It's basically a list of ten things one must do in order to generate comments from the audience. I'm too lazy to go looking for it, since the guy posts a f*(&ing flood, but it's there, about half a year or more back.

There are, in theory, ways to turn most posts into ones that would result in some worthwhile comments. Don't ask me how, I don't do it :) A higher signal-to-noise ratio might not be an absolute solution to your problem, but it will annoy you less.

[edg.livejournal.com]

I haven't, in large part because I really just don't like reading theferrett's journal. I don't know why, the guy just really strikes me the wrong way.

And... I dunno. I think it's just the nature of some posts to essentially be "agree/disagree" posts, and it's the nature of some of the people who read this journal to, when they disagree, want to trounce the person they're disagreeing with. (I can say this comfortably in large part because I have that trait, as much as I dislike it and wish that I didn't.)

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

I haven't, in large part because I really just don't like reading theferrett's journal. I don't know why, the guy just really strikes me the wrong way.

You too, huh? My partner sent me the link to that particular post, so I read it, but I'd stopped reading him long before.

As to the other... I'm out of ideas.

[edg.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your thoughts nonetheless. :)

[mercurial-lily.livejournal.com]

Exactly right.. no matter how 'ideal' some aspect of morality or perception or attitude is, the true fact is you still end up caring how people react.

[edg.livejournal.com]

I, especially, care how people react. It's hard to improve my self-valuation when I keep getting the feeling that many of the people I respect don't think I'm worth much.

[ginny-t.livejournal.com]

"I'm right and your stupid" is the only response that I feel is invalid. Who the hell is anyone to judge another person?

I certainly respect anyone's right to disagree with me. Even to dislike me (although I will probably resent that). But to say that someone is stupid? Hell, even think it, but don't say it. That's just being hurtful. And what you put out is what you're gonna get back.

I'm sorry that you feel that there are some things you can't "say". 'Cause this is your space, and people should respect that. If I disagree, I just move on. (Not necessarily disagree with you, just in general.)

[gehn.livejournal.com]

Would it be too ironic if I gave you grief on this post for not posting whataver you want to your own journal?