An interesting point they made during our Engaged Encounter was: Love is not just a feeling; love is a decision. (Then again, this is probably not news to you as a parent.)
The idea being: if my beloved upsets or hurts me, I will not being feeling very loving toward him. But I can "decide to love" (one of the catchphrases of the weekend), try to understand why he did what he did, and respond with love instead of anger.
Neatly enough, I think this can be applied to all kinds of love (except perhaps love of things like chocolate). Probably because it's more or less a restatement of the Golden Rule, come to think of it.
Without rigorously beating the idea to death in my head, I'd hazard a guess that all love requires respect and compassion. I can "love my neighbor" by respecting his worth and dignity as a human being, and doing my best to show compassion toward him. Love for my spouse-to-be certainly includes respect and compassion, even as it also includes personal fondness, emotional intimacy, and physical attraction.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 03:08 pm (UTC)The idea being: if my beloved upsets or hurts me, I will not being feeling very loving toward him. But I can "decide to love" (one of the catchphrases of the weekend), try to understand why he did what he did, and respond with love instead of anger.
Neatly enough, I think this can be applied to all kinds of love (except perhaps love of things like chocolate). Probably because it's more or less a restatement of the Golden Rule, come to think of it.
Without rigorously beating the idea to death in my head, I'd hazard a guess that all love requires respect and compassion. I can "love my neighbor" by respecting his worth and dignity as a human being, and doing my best to show compassion toward him. Love for my spouse-to-be certainly includes respect and compassion, even as it also includes personal fondness, emotional intimacy, and physical attraction.