Crossposted from mouseai

[edg]

TITLE: Untitled
AUTHOR: edg
LINK TO TOPIC INSPIRED BY: Week 2:2, and ladyjaida
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Special thanks to Jaida for reminding me that there are stories everywhere. I can usually think of a title for works in progress, but I'm utterly blanking on this one. Suggestions are welcome.

Also, I really need to figure out a good formatting style for this sort of thing. <dd>, <blockquote>, and <table> just ain't doin' it for me.

ACT ONE Scene One A midtown apartment, with a sofa, a dining-room table, and chairs. An empty pair of braces for a sword hang on the back wall. There is a door on either side of the stage; the stage left door is open. PAULA, a young woman in her early 20s, is trying to scratch her back with the saber that should be on the braces; she's wearing a towel around her waist, which is almost falling off her hips, and nothing else. Her clothes are in a pile on the sofa. JAMES (from offstage): You're getting ready, right? They'll be here soon. PAULA: Yeah, yeah, getting ready. We have plenty of time, Jim -- JAMES (still offstage): Do you even have any concept of time? I mean, seriously, when was the last time you were on time for anything? PAULA: You need to calm down, Jim. JAMES (sticking his head through the STAGE LEFT doorway long enough to speak): James. PAULA: It's a battle you can't win, honey. JAMES (offstage again): It doesn't stop me from fighting, Paula. My parents didn't call me "Jim", and I expect the people who care about me -- PAULA (finishing James's sentence): -- to respect that. I've never met your parents, Jim. How am I supposed to respect somebody I've never met? JAMES (still offstage): You understand that my parents are the people coming over today, right? PAULA: Of course I do. And when I've met them, maybe I'll respect them. Right now, I'm not even sure I - ow! - have their names right. PAULA has cut herself with the sword. It's shallow, but it stings. JAMES, a young man about the same age as Paula, comes fully into the scene at this point, impeccably dressed in a suit and tie. JAMES: Jonathan and Harriet, we've been over this a thousand -- James pauses in mid-stride. JAMES: -- what on Earth have you done to yourself? Paula... James walks over to Paula and takes the sword out of her hands, goes to replace it on its braces, then thinks better of it and sets it on the table. Paula is craning her neck to look at her back, which isn't really bleeding very badly. JAMES: You were using my saber to scratch your back. PAULA: Well, you were getting dressed -- JAMES: I won awards with that saber, Paula. Why would you think -- PAULA: My back itched, James. You try scratching that without something long and sharp. JAMES (exasperated): Put your clothes on, Paula. James walks out the stage left door. PAULA: I can't just meet your parents naked? JAMES (offstage): NO. Paula shrugs and starts pulling on her clothes, not taking the towel off until she's decent below the waist. While she's doing this: PAULA: I bet they'd understand. Your parents seem like understanding people. James returns with a damp cloth. He begins cleaning the saber off. JAMES: Not that understanding. Seriously, Paula -- PAULA: I'm putting clothes on, see? She holds up her blouse, the last item she needs to put on, then slides into it. PAULA (buttoning up her blouse): No need to treat me like I'm a child, Jim. I might not respect all of the rules you think society has for me, but I will follow them if you ask me nicely enough. JAMES: I know, Paula. I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous -- A doorbell rings, and James drops the sword.