Alone in a crowd

[edg]

I was going to whine here about how the dining hall just makes me lonely, because I see all this social activity and I'm not part of it. I had a great metaphor that involved lenses.

Then I remembered that I'm not supposed to be whiny.

So it's gone now.

(By the way, there is at least one person in the immediate area who reads this journal. Please don't take my complaints about being lonely as being passive-aggressive attempts to get you to hang out - I certainly don't mean them that way. I'm just bitching; I keep forgetting that there are people nearby these days who might not take these posts as just me kvetching about something I don't expect anybody to change.)

Comments

[mercurial-lily.livejournal.com]

Yeah that doesn't work.
The 'not supposed to be' thing.

It's better to realize that you're not actually as bad as you think, rather than try to convince to stop being a certain way.

Cause, you're not.

...hopefully that won't irritate you for my having said it.

[edg.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And no, it doesn't irritate me.

It's hard to stop thinking of myself as, well, not a very good person. I don't know why. I guess it's comfortable. "If I were a better person, people would want to talk to me/I wouldn't have so much trouble getting to know people/whatever, so I must be pretty awful."

[mercurial-lily.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's more reassuring to have an excuse to rely on, to convince yourself you're a horrible person..

Maybe a lot of people have that problem with getting to know other people, but aren't horrible people...

[archangelbeth]

The other angle is the superiority trick. Or the just plain Outsider one. They combine great! ("I am smarter than all these people, so they don't understand me, and I don't want to stop speaking my crazy Moon language, so whatever.")

Not that I speak from experience or anything... >_> <_<

[phosphodae.livejournal.com]

And here I was thinking how impressively secure you are to be able to come up to a stranger and ask if she was, in fact, me. =]

/still impressed